The Ape Woman Live at the Berkshire Fringe

by May Oskan and The Ape Woman Ensemble Cast

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Enjoy the show in its entirety, as it was performed in the summer of 2013. Including the previously unreleased encore, Dig My Grave.

      $5 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a hand blockprinted sleeve. Limited edition of 100.
    Disc design features the original artwork by Lena Gustafson that was used on our screenprinted 2013 tour posters.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Ape Woman Live at the Berkshire Fringe via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    edition of 100 

      $12 USD or more 

     

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about

Produced in the summer of 2013 as part of The Berkshire Fringe. Performed at the Daniel Arts Center, Bard College at Simon's Rock. Live sound and recording by Dave Rice. Cover illustration by Lena Gustafson.

credits

released November 2, 2013

Written and composed by May Oskan

Arranged and performed by:
May Oskan - lead vocals, ukulele
Nina Violet - viola, violin, clarinet, vocals
Marciana Jones - autoharp, vocals
Adam Lipsky - keyboards
Michele Jones - guitar
Ashley Clayton - bass
Leo Suarez - percussion

Narrated by:
Justin Taylor - The Sideshow Barker
Adam Petkus - The Doctor
Christopher Kann* - Theodore Lent
Bernard Vash* - Hermann Otto


*appearing courtesy Actors Equity Association.

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Espinosa
My mother cried out when she saw me, what can you do?
She always said that she found me, that isn’t true.
I came to town with a future bright as an eye.
I was so sure, and a beauty-- that is a lie.

What can I remember?
I remember the reflection of the sky in her black eyes.
What can I remember?
I remember how her lies became my lies.
What can I remember?
I remember our first night in the cave, and the rain.
What can I remember?
I remember the mask she wore of both our pain.
And I remember her name:

Espinosa, like no other
brought me food and gave me cover
until the day we were discovered.
I always knew you were my mother.

We were asleep when they raided our cave.
Showed us the cross, said we’d be saved.
You held me close and began to descend.
I knew that I would never rest again.

What can I remember?
I remember the first time the sound of a man’s voice reached for me underground.
What can I remember?
I remember being found, and found, and found.
What can I remember?
I remember how strange it was to find a man’s face, so different than mine.
What can I remember?
I remember they looked powerful then, and kind.

Espinosa, is it over?
The error of your body you prayed to right.
Espinosa, is it over?
Coming out from the dark doesn’t guarantee light.
Track Name: The Governor's House
I live with the Governor, I am a daughter, I am a little girl.
I am a kitchen maid, I am a little thing, I am an animal.

I live in a palace, I live in the garden, I live along the hall.
I live in the fountain, I live in the kitchen, I live inside the wall.

I am in the corridor, I am in the stable, I am in someone’s bed.
I’m under the carpet, I’m under the table, I am inside my head.
Track Name: It's Amazing
It’s amazing what you can get used to.
Track Name: Fascinated
There was a time I wanted this.
There was a time I would have sold my skin for this.
Not long ago I was fascinated. Fascinated.
Not long ago.
Alert the papers and order my suit pressed.
When the press arrives I want her dressed.
Not long ago I was fascinated. Fascinated.
Not long ago. Not long ago.
Track Name: Chase Me Down
I’ve got one hand between the pillow and my face.
I’ve got six blankets to put the weight on me.
There’s nobody home but me and my dream.

And the hallway is so dark I don’t know it.
I haven’t counted the steps in my new place.
And so I lay down with my hand across my face.

The dreams in this city find me no matter where I sleep.
They will chase me down. Down deep.
The dreams in this city find me no matter where I sleep.
They will chase me down. Down deep.

I didn’t want you to stay with me last night.
You stirred up my six blankets and you left on the light.
My bed is small for a reason.
But I keep letting the dreams in.

The dreams in this city find me no matter where I sleep.
They will chase me down. Down deep.
The dreams in this city find me no matter where I sleep.
They will chase me down. Down deep.
Track Name: When I Am A Star
When I am a star you can count on me.
Nothing will ever be, nothing will ever be broken again.
When I am a star I will have no face.
Out in the dust again, out in the curvature of space.

There will be no dark when my life is aflame.
With no eyes, with no eyes to close.
I will be so light in a body with endless weight.
In the darkness I will hear every wish you make.

Time cannot survive where history doesn’t reach.
You can tell me, you can forget.
When I am a star you can count on me.
Nothing will ever be, nothing will ever be broken again.
Track Name: My Son, If We Had Lived
Oh my son, if we had lived,
I would never have sold you like my mother did.
We were two in a world that wasn't ready for one.
Oh if we had lived, my son.

Oh my son, if we had lived,
I would never have sold you like your father did.
We were two in a world that wasn't ready for one.
Oh if we had lived, my son.

We would have walked the streets of London in the whispering rain.
The monocles we passed would swing from their chains.
The scandal on the faces of the doctors from France.
You would have seen how your mother could dance.

Oh my son, if we had lived,
I would never have sold you like my mother did.
We were two in a world that wasn't ready for one.
Oh if we had lived, my son.

Set your jaw like a military sergeant.
Stand up taller than your father.
Ruffle the composure of American soldiers.
Knock the epaulets right off the general's shoulders.
German petticoats tremble like leaves.
Austrian doctors cough into their sleeves.
Anatomists would shrug and move their gazes away.
Priests would cross themselves once more every day.

Oh my son, if we had lived,
I would never have sold you like my mother did.
We were two in a world that wasn't ready for one. Oh if we had lived, my son.

Oh my son, if we had lived,
I would never have sold you like your father did.
We were two in a world that wasn't ready for one. Oh if we had lived, my son.
Track Name: Sawdust
O, sawdust, preserve me.
Where the heart of a dancer once pounded,
a foreign bile and the sawdust from the exhibition grounds.
Track Name: Your Shadow
I know how to put a drawer full of knives in perfect order
and never touch the sides.
I will take one with me when I dress myself in the night.
I have seen the sky unravel like the veil I wear when I travel,
stars vanish from sight.
It's the only thing that's warm enough and keeps out all of the light.

I know a man, believes he is a king.
His mouth is always full of snakes. They do the talking.

I'm your conscience, I'm your shadow,
but I never had your face, though. What's a father to do?
I'd always thought it perfectly ordinary, didn't you?
I will live here, undercover. I have secrets, I have lovers.
What's a shadow to do?
I will keep you safe from all the truth I've hidden from you.

Shake me off now, like a shiver.
Wash me away, as far as you can, down the river.

You will come to some agreement, never tell me, keep it secret.
Shake your shadow from you.
The dark is blind and welcoming, just as I once wished for you.
My hands were at your service, but my heart is strong and selfish.
I will break you in two.
What becomes of me is what becomes of you.
Track Name: All Your Gods Are Monsters
Unlike you are to me, I am not compelled to love you.
And the only thing I love about this stage is that it is above you.
O ugly crowd, o ugly crowd. Let the ugliest among you stand alone.
And use your words for you have stolen my own.

This face of mine, take a good hard look at this face of mine.
Call it monstrous, call it divine.
If it's all the same, if it's all the same, then all your gods are monsters.
Then all your gods are monsters.

I dance for you until my feet are dead in my boots.
And I pull out my hair sometimes, I pull it out by the roots.
O ugly crowd, o ugly crowd. Set the ugliest among you apart.
Tear down my dress and count the needles in my heart.

And for my next trick, I will be a woman.
From this terrifying mouth will come a woman’s voice.
And you'll never know the will behind the words,
or the weight of this body when I lay it down.
Like a bag of dresses that never fit me.

This face of mine, take a good hard look at this face of mine.
Call it monstrous, call it divine.
If it's all the same, if it's all the same, then all your gods are monsters.
Then all your gods are monsters.
Track Name: Glass Coffin
Poison takes, poison takes so long, when you don’t have enough.
Echo back, echo back the words. Tell me you hear them too.

Under glass, would I look the same? It’s your fate, it’s my name.
Under glass, silent, suffer still. I never was, I never will.

I have seen him go out at night without his coat.
I have heard him speaking languages that he doesn’t know.
I have seen him crying on the steps of our home.

I am building him a glass coffin too.
I am building him a glass coffin too.

I have seen him stand on the bridge in just his sleeves.
Searching in the water for messages that he’ll never read.
I have seen him scattering his money like leaves.

I am building him a glass coffin too.
I am building him a glass coffin too.
I am building him a glass coffin too.
Track Name: Dig My Grave
Too many flowers, must be a funeral. I had forgotten, a funeral.
The box is white. I am no virgin child,
but at least they can’t see in this time.

Dig my grave, dig my grave.
Let me have my sleep, let me have my peace.
Dig my grave, dig my grave.
Give me everything, everything again.

Lay my body down, bury me twice as deep.
I still have secrets I’d like to keep.
When you remember, remember me just like this.
Will you remember?

Dig my grave, dig my grave.
Give me back my sleep, give me back my dream.
Dig my grave, dig my grave.
Give me everything, give me everything again.